January 6
Dear Diary,
This is my first entry. My mom says I should start writing my thoughts down. I asked her why and she told me to just do it. She shut the door in my face again. Anyway, I might as well write in you. I don’t have anything better to do.
My name is Cecilia Rue. I am eleven years old. I live in Shorelake County, a small town far from the big city. My dad took me there once to buy a new TV set. I didn’t like it there, too many people. I like it better here, where there aren’t a lot of people shouting in the streets. Those sounds make my head hurt and sometimes I even faint. I don’t know why. My mom says I was really weak anyway. Born that way, she says.
So here’s the deal, you keep my secrets and I’ll keep yours. Okay?
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

January 10
Dear Diary,
Today was really scary. Jena, my best friend, came over to play. We were riding our bikes to the park when suddenly everything went dark and I fell off my bike. I remember because when I woke up, I had large scratches on my arm and knees. I heard Jena screaming from behind me. When I turned to look at her, her face was bleeding! I don’t know what happened. She kept pointing at me, screaming and crying! I was so scared. I cried too. There was blood everywhere. There weren’t any cars or people around so I rode my bike back to the house to get my mom, she called Jena’s mom right away. After that we went to pick up Jena. When we got there she was lying on the sidewalk and lots of people were standing around her. I pushed through the crowd and saw that she wasn’t moving. I think she fainted too. There was blood everywhere and I know how scared Jena gets when she sees blood. My mom came and told the people to go away. She took Jena and put her in the car. We drove home and Mom was quiet. When we got there, Jena’s mom was waiting for us outside. My mom told me to go inside the house because she had to talk to Jena’s mom. It was five o’clock. I peeped through the window and saw Jena’s mom shouting inside our car. My mom saw me looking so I ran to my room to wash my scratches. I was scared for some reason and I didn’t even know what happened. I hope Jena’s alright. She’s the only friend I have.
It’s almost eleven and mom hasn’t come in yet. I’m tired. I’ll ask my mom about Jena tomorrow. Goodnight!
Yours truly,
Ceci

January 11
Dear Diary,
I woke up early and saw my mom and dad the kitchen. Mom looked really tired and Dad looked really sad. When they saw me they stopped talking! I asked my mom about Jena and she told me that I couldn’t play with Jena anymore. Dad’s taking me to the mall for ice cream, I could sure use some.
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

January 17
Dear Diary,
Mom and Dad are going out. They’re all dressed up. I asked mom where they were going and she said they were going to a funeral. I’m not invited. She won’t tell me who died. They just left and I’m watching TV.
I wish Jena was here. We could play inside the house.
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

January 25
Dear Diary,
I’m in school right now, waiting for mom to come pick me up. I never wanted to go back, but my mom said I needed to start meeting more kids my age. I liked it better when she taught me at home, at least then I didn’t have to take a bath. The kids at my school are stupid, all they talk about are dolls and they keep showing off their stuff. I don’t like playing with them at all, at least Jena’s in my class. She’s coming over after school so we could watch Harriet the Spy on Disney.
There’s this one girl named Penny who was making fun of me during recess. She called me stupid because I didn’t want to play with them. I didn’t say anything, I just left her. During class, Jena told me to cut Penny’s ponytail off. It was pretty easy because she was sitting right in front of me. She looked really dumb after! Jena and I kept laughing. Penny cried of course. The teacher sent me to the Principal’s Office. I’m here now, waiting for my mom to pick me up. She’ll be mad at me but that’s okay, it felt good cutting of Penny’s ponytail. I can’t believe Jena wasn’t sent here with me!
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

January 26
Dear Diary,
Mom shouted at me last night. She didn’t want to believe that Jena was the one who told me to cut off Penny’s ponytail. I kept telling her that it was all Jena’s idea but she didn’t listen! She told me to stop lying, but I wasn’t lying!
This morning at school, she wrote “Jena’s dead” on the board and when I saw it I jumped on her and hit her over and over. She was kicking and screaming but I was stronger. When my mom came to pick me up again I told her why I hit Penny. She didn’t believe me. I told her Penny’s the liar! Not me! She shook her head and cried on the way home. I didn’t say anything anymore.
Yours truly,
Ceci

February 15
Dear Diary,
Mom and I went to the grocery today and we saw Jena’s mom. I ran up to her and asked her where Jena was and she just laughed and went the other way. My mom got mad at me and told me to never talk about Jena again. She squeezed me real tight and it hurt a lot. I blacked out again after. When I woke up we were inside the car but it wasn’t moving and Mom was shaking all over in the driver’s seat. I came up from behind her and gave her a hug. She covered her eyes and cried real loud. I wonder what’s wrong with her. She keeps crying.
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

March 5
Dear Diary,
My mom and I are on our way to the doctor’s office. I’ve been going there a lot lately because of my blackouts. The doctors are really nice. I don’t like the smell though. They’ve been running tests and stuff on me. One of the doctors talks to me a lot and she’s happy I have a diary. The girls in school don’t talk to me anymore, that’s why I like it better here. They’re just jealous of me because I have a diary and they don’t. I’m smarter than all of them, my teacher says so. She called me special the other day. I haven’t been seeing Dad lately, and Mom always looks worried. I think I’ll go visit dad at the shop after we finish with these tests.
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

5 March 2006
Dear Diary,
I hate Dad! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I rode my bike to the shop after we got home from the hospital and no one was at the register so I went to check the back office. Guess what?? He was kissing Kelly! The new assistant! I’m not telling mom about it. She probably won’t believe me anyway.
Hugs n’ Kisses,
Ceci

March 15
Dear Diary,
I’m scared. Last night I had the scariest dream. I dreamt that Dad was working late in the shop again and he was there with Kelly. They were flirting by the register and they didn’t hear me and Jena come in. We hid behind one of the food stalls and I had my dad’s axe with me. Kelly was wearing a really short skirt and leaning towards Dad. Dad was kissing her on the mouth and squeezing her butt. They were leaning with their backs against the register. I got really angry and Jena told me to walk closer to the register. I was real quiet. I saw five empty bottles of beer toppled over the counter. I couldn’t believe my Dad. The fluorescent lights flickered as I raised the axe, high above his head. Quickly, I started chopping them both to pieces. Jena was cheering for me. My Dad died right away. Kelly screamed and tried to get away. I went after her though. I got her good.
I woke up this morning with blood on my hands. Mom was in the kitchen making breakfast when she asked me if I had seen Dad. I said no.
Ceci

March 20
Dear Diary,
Dad hasn’t come home yet. Mom hasn’t been sleeping. The police have searched everywhere she said. Still nothing. I’m not sure if I should tell her. Jena thinks I should. I haven’t been going to school lately. My mom said it was best if I stayed at home but she barely talks to me anymore. The doctors now go to the house to run tests. I think they want to take you from me. I won’t let them. Jena stays at the house more often.
Ceci

March 25
Dear Diary,
Something very strange is happening. Jena and I are in my room. She’s starting to scare me these past few days. The investigation’s over and they found the axe outside my bedroom window. I’m really scared diary. Jena’s been screaming at me. She keeps telling me to get out of the house and go after my mom. She keeps calling me names, and screaming curse words. I don’t want to go after my mom. She doesn’t even look like herself anymore. Her eyes are turning yellow and she’s becoming really skinny. Sometimes she just stays in a corned in my room. She just sits there, smiling at me. You know that smile Joker from Batman has? That’s what her smile looks like. Her hair’s longer now and sometimes all I can see are her eyes. Mom won’t let me out of my room. Please make her go away.

March 26
Dear Diary,
Today I think I did something bad. I was in my room again and remember blacking out. When I woke up I was on our living room floor. Jena was sitting on the couch looking down at me. She told me to stand up and that Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen. I went to the kitchen and saw my mom hiding under the counter. I went near her but she told me to stay away. She was crying and screaming! I couldn’t take it. I don’t think she loves me anymore. I went closer to give her a hug but she screamed even louder and ran towards the knife rack. I stopped walking and asked her why she was doing all that. She pointed the knife at me and I screamed. I cried. I blacked out again. When I woke up, I was lying on my mom’s lap. The knife was sticking out her chest. I ran to my room and I’m still here now, writing in you. Jena’s laughing at me, she’s sitting on the bed. Mom’s dead, diary. Mom’s dead. What am I going to do?

March 26

Dear Cecilia,

Hello. Don’t be scared. You know me, you’ve been writing to me a whole lot. You know, each time you fainted, I’d come out. I was the one who beat Jena’s face with a stone during that bike ride. She died you know. And that dream you had about your father? That wasn’t a dream. I did that. You should’ve figured it out by now. Well, we did it. You wanted him dead too. You’re not so innocent you know. You were the one who beat Penny up, not me. Although, I was watching you do it, I’m very proud. I just did it for you. And your mom, well, she had it coming. She shouldn’t have locked us up like that.
Don’t be frightened Cecilia Rue. Now, it’s just you and me.
Hugs n’ Kisses,
You’ll never guess who